What can I do? (nothing)

There are times when its just to hard to be patient or to keep yourself from being envious of others. Sometimes I just want to cry and get mad, but I just couldn't because there is no acceptable reason to do so, or there is one to blame, or you just have to stay strong or even pretend to feel ok just so you wont hurt or offend other people. Sometimes its difficult to keep everything inside and say to yourself "..its ok.. dont worry.. there is always a next time..things like this always happen....u have to understand...be patient..you can do this and that...blah, blah, blah" when you know that your just kidding youtself. I know may not be making sense right now but this is how I feel. I dont know what to do. Im disappointed, which I shouln't be. I want to go out but I couldn't. I want to talk to my friends but i dont know what to talk about or they're not available. I want to make the most out of my free time (which I dont usually have)to enjoy it with the people I want to be with, but then I just can't. I think this is the main culprit of why I'm feeling this way.